Do you feel anxious and out of balance in your life? Does your body ache from stress induced muscle tension? Is your soul just not at peace? If so, you may want to pause and consider factors that are driving your decisions.
When making decisions, many people often rush to a conclusion without considering the possible consequences. Even though most decisions made in hast only result in mild consequences, the price of rushing into some significant life decisions can be steep and long-lasting. When this is the result, it is highly possible one has made decisions based on emotions rather than reality. This creates emotional, mental, and physical imbalance which results in anxiety, body aches, and an unsettled soul.
You may be asking, "How does one identify when a decision has been made based on emotions rather than reality?" Emotional decisions are most often based on pain and assumptions. Pain birthed from hurtful past experiences can often overshadow logic and rationale. Assumptions can be beliefs based on uninformed and/or mistaken judgements. If one is unaware of residual pain, underlying assumptions, and how they are directing choices, these factors will most likely influence future decisions. It becomes a pattern. This is an insured way to keep life out of balance and create an overall feeling of dissatisfaction.
These unhealthy decision-making patterns are not uncommon for one who has experienced a significant loss in their life. Loss creates pain. When one is experiencing emotional, mental, and/or physical pain, it is a natural progression to become self-absorbed and inward focused. It is the nature of pain. And the harsh reality is that self-focused people make self-focused choices...emotional decisions. This compounds pain, enhances imbalance, and ultimately robs one of contentment. When discontentment becomes the dominate mode of being, an emotional atmosphere of imbalance is fostered at a greater level. This is because decisions are made with the underlying purpose of pain relief and with little or no notice given for emotions to be de-escalated and rational consideration to prevail. It becomes a vicious cycle. It becomes your problem.
The first step in seeking to bring balance into your life is to acknowledge the problem. Then, acknowledge your pain, consider your assumptions...ponder your judgements . However, it is not enough to stop there. Intentional measures must be in place in order to assist with making healthier choices. Following are four fundamental factors to consider before making decisions:
STOP and recognize the emotions you may be experiencing related to your current situation. Emotions are like temperature, they can go up and down rather quickly. However, they often do not go down as quickly as they go up. It is for this reason that some of life's greatest regrets are made in the moment of escalated emotions. Be present in the moment, and acknowledge the emotions you are feeling before making a decision. This is sound advice for any decision. Many calories would be avoided. Am I right?
TIME is your friend, not your enemy, when making significant life decisions. Often, time can be viewed as the enemy because the clock is ticking. However, this is not always the truth. Time can be your friend. Taking time builds in space for safeguards such as: allowing you opportunity to seek the counsel of a wise friend or family member on specific matters in which you are less acquainted. Also, by pausing, it allows time for reflection on related past experiences. Ask yourself certain question like: "Have I allowed emotions and inaccurate assumptions to drive decisions which led to regret in the past?" "Am I doing that now?" You may want to make a mental, or literal list of the emotions you may be experiencing and certainties vs. notions. Evaluate what you know for certain to be true against what you think you know to be true. This exercise could help shift your perspective. One fact does hold true for certain; evaluated experiences makes for wiser decisions.
OPEN your mind to "Out of the Box" thinking. By this I mean, owning your part of past poor decisions. Choose to believe that purpose can be leveraged out of anything, especially with a positive perspective and introspection. Don't make the mistake of focusing on past poor decisions with little or no thought given to how those negative outcomes could be redeemed and turned into a positive life-changing lesson learned. Sometimes, what we believe to be our greatest past mistakes can ultimately be those experiences which turn out to actually teach us the most meaningful life-changing lessons. Intentionally looking for such lessons is what I call "Out of the Box Thinking." It doesn't follow the natural course of evaluation. Why is it that the negative garners a larger audience than the positive? Purpose to look for the positive lessons and keep open the way for "Out of the Box" results!
PURPOSE to invite wise others into your world for input and guidance. There is strength in numbers. Often mistakes are repeated in the areas that matter most and lessons learned are from mistakes made in areas that matter the least. When wise others are allowed to walk along side, their perspective and input can be invaluable. As is true in many cases, others often see the train wreck coming before we do. We can be speeding along with no idea the wreck is waiting around the next bend. The perspective someone else may have of the emotional decision about to be made can prevent the wreck from happening. At the very least, it may slow down the impact and lessen the severity of the crash. Let others in. But this advice is given with a word of caution: the wise others must be trusted and proven to be truly wise in how they live their lives. Otherwise, the perspective you may be working from could be shaded by their emotions and assumptive judgements.
When difficulties come about as a result of hasty and emotional decisions, life gets out of balance. Before making future significant life decisions, find balance. One way to do that is Stop and recognize the emotions about to drive your decision. Allow Time to de-escalate the temperature of current emotions. Open your mind to "Out of the Box" thinking by owning your part in past decisions which did not result in desired outcome, and look for the redeeming value in that outcome. And finally, Purpose to allow wise others into your life to provide solid counsel and guidance.
Life doesn't have to feel out of control. It is meant to live in balance and fulness. Decisions made in the future can be prudent and more fulfilling than poor emotion-driven decisions made in the past, not because you want them to be, but because you plan for them to be. You are planning balance and putting safeguards in place by establishing a basic plan. This will help insure that future decisions will generate balance, less anxiety, and a greater level of overall satisfaction and peace. This will bring mind, body, and soul back into balance.
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